Mary Berry, host of The Great British Bakeoff and weird crush of men everywhere though they wouldn't admit it, says Paul Hollywood has an unusually small penis.
The startling revelation comes in her new book 'Recipes to Blow Your Face Off.' In it Berry relays anecdotes inbetween recipes.
'Once he arrived at my house in just a pinny' recalls Berry. 'He soon ripped it off and nestled under his middle aged gut was what can only be described as a baby dormouse drowing in a sea of greying fur.'
She continued 'For a woman my age I have surprisingly good control over my bodily functions put I pissed and shat myself laughing. It was like a fucking tsunami I laughed so hard.'
According to Berry it was at this point that Hollywood had an affair with American chef Marcela Valladolid.
'He soon came scampering back though' she said. 'Apparently he was rutting away and she kept asking if it was in yet. When the dark, cold, long nights get too much to bear I just think of this and nearly soil myself again. Such fun.'