After the recent campaign to get American citizens to sign up for Obamacare, a new lower tier care package has been announced.
Rather than selling your soul and your children to pay for private health insurance through the scheme, for just 90% of your monthly pay this new tier offers budget but effective care.
Each person gets a bottle of Jack Daniels each day to numb the pain and help forget how crap their life is. The bottle also serves as a useful anaesthetic device. It is recommended that you smash it over your head to induce unconciousness ot better yet, a coma.
Other medical treatments available on the tier include a new cure for headaches by decapitation, genital wart removal with a blow torch and a cure for cancer which forces the cancer cells to die by having the host body die too.
Medical professionals have called this new lower tier of care 'a revolution in care for the poor. Can I have my check now please?'