Today we are discussing just which are the best sexually transmitted diseases to catch. Our handy guide will allow you to make the decisions you need for that cool, infected lifestyle.
1. AIDS
Without doubt the coolest of all the STIs. A life of taking a cocktail of drugs at specific times that impact on your life adds an urban chic to your air of cool.
2. Syphilis
This is an old school bacteria making a comeback. Untreated this will make you a dash eccentric. It does have the downside of being fatal but once you get bored of being weird, take some penicillin and you'll be fine.
3. Crabs
Always the best for when you are feeling lonely. Have you own nest of friends nestled in your pubes. It also leads to better dance moves due to the itching. A sure fire winner.
4. Herpes
A crusty favourite. Scabs all over your genitals can keep them warm in the winter months. Lovely!
5. Hepatitis B
Save on fake tan with the lovely golden hues of jaundice. The vomiting isn't great but having piss the colour of Guinness is always good for a chuckle.
The choices have never been greater so choose carefully and you will be the envy of friends and family everywhere.