Benedict Cumberbatch, who is doing a reading at the funeral of Richard III, has been announced as the UN World Talker.
Cumberbatch, who's dulcet, roasting tones make women lose all brain power, will tour the world performing all the worlds speech.
Humanity will remaim silent until he arrives then whisper in his ear what he is to say.
Gerry Wardrobe of Pundabooboo, Australia, said 'I really meed to tell my wife I'm leaving her. It will be better coming from Cumberbatch. He will throw in a few 'my dears' and 'darlings' and my ex to be will faint whilst I leg it.'
And Mary Srelt of Canada said 'I really need a massive shit but my daughter is in the bathroom. I wish he would hurry up and get here. It's going to look like a dirty protest here soon.'