Eton College, home of the famous Eton Mess desert, has rocked the catering world with a startling revelation today.
Mrs. Helena Quimby, head of catering, has revealed that Eton Mess should be made with whole meringues.
She elaborated 'This yummy pud is just a meringue nest with cream and strawberry's. However in 1977 a new student arrived. He was a bumbling, cretinous oaf called Boris I think. Yes, Boris Johnson. He was very popular, largely because the other boys pointed and laughed at him and he played up to it.'
She continued 'He couldn't hold anything in his pointless, fat hands and crushed the meringues like a juvenile chimp. All the others boys thought this was great fun so did the same and served the desert up in this fashion. And it stuck.'
'It's almost impossible these days to have them create a crack free meringue anyway as the crop of boys becomes more loutish with each passing year. They can barely hold a pencil without snapping it. My autumn years are spent corralling a bunch of privileged morons who can just about write their own names with rocks before falling over in fits of guffaws.'
'Pass me that vat of Paracetamol will you.'