Single people who own pets larger than fish or a budgie are more than likely to be psychopaths it was revealed today.
Dog and cat owners were studied and questioned on their social attitudes. Over 92% of respondents said they would gladly kill someone who threatened their animal.
More worryingly though, the remaining 8% have opinions that are unknown as our researchers went missing after visiting them.
'I barely got away with my life.' said our researcher Brian. 'The mad bastard came at me with a shovel screaming 'Don't disrespect Tiddles or I'll cave your fucking face in.'
He continued 'And one lady, after I asked if she would ever consider having her dog put down if it bit someone, stabbed my hand with a fork over and over yelling 'Cunt! Cunt! CUNT!'
'I would have got a restraining order on her but when the police arrived with their German Shepherd and heard what had happened they let him loose on me. So I ran like a bastard.'