Prime Minister David Cameron has today been branded a coward by everyone.
Announcing yesterday he would only appear in one of the three debates, Mr. Cameron is said to be trying to undermine the process so they never happen again.
Ed Milliband said of the Prime Minister's decision 'I am disappointed but not surprised. For the past 3 weeks he hasn't answered one question in PMQs. What a twat.'
Even impeccably polite Jacob Rees-Mogg had this to say 'Nanny and I are desperately unhappy. It is a travesty of democracy. He really is a conniving little shit.'
Most shockingly, and what may constitute a constitutional crisis, the Queen has even dropped her facade of impartiality.
'That useless little runt is meant to be protecting my land and money. First he fucks up with HSBC where I've got millions stashed and now he's chickening out from an argument with that goofy gimp Milliband. The little twat.'