Lord Ashcrofts latest polling figures show the SNP will win every seat in the whole of the UK unless you vote Conservative.
Ashcroft, a tory peer, billionaire and tax exile, has used his wealth to fund constituency polls across the nation with a sample size in each constituency of at least 1 person.
There have been mutterings from other polling companies as to the accuracy of his polls. But Ashcroft is unrepentant.
'The SNP will sweep Scotland and then sweep the rest of the UK despite not standing in any of those seats.' he said.
'This is my unbiased opinion based on the very accuarte data I have collected. And it points to this: Vote Conservative or get Nicola Sturgeon. Simple.'
When it was pointed out that she could not win seats where the SNP weren't standing he disagreed.
'Yes she can. That's what the voter I polled in each constituency, whom I did not pay, told me. Vote Tory. That's what my impartial polls are telling me. Else we'll all be living in somewhere called Caledonia and eating deep fried Mars Bars. Vote Tory.'