Harry Styles announced on Twitter today that One Direction have split leading to the mass suicide of the world's teenage girls and a worryingly large proportion of its teenage boys too.
Speaking about the announcement, Styles said 'We were hanging out in Marlon's 50's Shake Shack in Long Beach listening to some Elvis and Little Richard.'
He continued 'I just started getting bored so I said to the guys 'Hey, lets split.' They agreed and we left. I thought I would tweet about it.'
'It seems to have had some unexpected consequences. I have been receiving messages from Apple saying their entire iPhone user base just died. They aren't happy.'
'Is it just me though, or has the entire world gone absolutely fucking mental? Seriously, I'm a skinny, boney, barely literate empty skull with the wit and personality of an infectious disease. Stop being a bunch of bell ends and get a fucking grip.'