From the beginning of next month, Monday's are to be replaced by Wednesdays it has been announced.
In a move set to anger the business world but please everyone else, government spokesman Sir Hugh Hugh said 'This is actually a pro business decision.'
He continued 'Let's be honest, Mondays are wasted spending 8 hours holding your head, moaning and rocking back and forth in your seat as the skin full of lighter fluid you drank the night before refuses to be replaced by blood.'
'Tuesday then becomes Monday, which means going through hundreds of emails you can't be arsed to open and telling everyone that this past weekend was 'a proper messy one.'
'So we thought we would just start the week at Wednesday when everyone does at least 12 minutes work.'
Senior administrator Bacardi Oakheart, when asked what he thought of today's decision, said 'This means I can legitimately spend the first two days of the week in bed.'
'Before now the excuses ranged from illness, multiple granny deaths and malaria.'
'Now I can get twatted at the weekend in the hope that this dire existence doesn't come back to remind me of its presence for at least 4 days. Hooray!'