Nick Clegg and Richard Branson have both called for the decriminalisation of drugs.
Speaking at a joint press conference, Clegg said 'It's time weed was decriminalised. I was smoking a fatty when I agreed to this coalition. When I woke up the next morning and realised what I'd done, I just lit up again.'
He continued 'I have been off my face for the majority of the last 5 years. If I hadn't I would have twatted Cameron by now. It's the only way I can get though the day.'
'It needs to be decriminalised as the babylon have nearly caught me three times now. Here you are Richard, have a bang on that.'
Branson continued 'My balloon journeys in the 80s were inspired by a shit load of acid. It wasn't until 3 years ago when someone showed me footage that I realised it was real. I thought it was all a trip. Maybe it was a group hallucination. Who wants some skunk?'