As the clocks go forward another year to help farmers work longer into the night and push back the commencement of dogging by an hour, one deity isn't too happy with the results of the clock change.
God, 4500 years old from West Bromwich, said 'I was upset by the lack of worshipping happening today.'
He continued 'Usually I get a few people around 11 am. It has admittedly been tailing off for the past 2000 years. But I've been able to fill the gap it leaves with The Jeremy Kyle show.'
'But today? Nobody. Nothing. Everyone was still in bed. They overslept because of the clocks going forward.'
'Now I am not a needy deity. But to go from a few million to nothing in one day isn't good enough. So I'm going to fuck the place up.'
'You know I'm petty and vindictive. But not even a Priest woke up in time. So fuck the lot of you. Have some fire and brimstone, you bastards.'