The upcoming TV debate between Ed Milliband and an empty chair has been set for 30th April, one week before the general election.
Both parties have released their manifestos. A labour spokesman said 'We have been practising debate technique a lot.'
He continued 'We don't want a repeat of the Clint Eastwood and empty chair incident where the empty chair blatantly won.'
'However the broadcasters have introduced a bacon sandwich eating competition at the end and we're shitting ourselves'
The chair said 'I am really looking forward to it. I am getting a new varnish for it and a good sand down. I go to the same person David Dickenson uses. I am going to look like a Bobby Dazzler!'