The triumphant return of ITVs showcase for the mentally ill has returned for it's 'please no more' series.
Highlighting the lengths some people will go to to gain notoriety and highlighting the massive deficiencies in UK mental health provision, this years freaks are an ecclectic bunch.
There is Jeff Jeff, a man who can only say 'Jeff', Susan Boil, a Susan Boyle tribute who sings whilst making tea and coffee and Sally Human, a 16 year old girl that everyone says is talented but secretly everyone really wants to fuck but can't admit it as she's borderline jailbait.
Also performing was Henry The Hoovering Human who uses his arse to pick up items on the floor and Patty Sinclair, a former stripper who is now a slightly shit aerobics instructer who got on stage because she sucked off Simon.
Cowell said of this years entrants 'Without doubt our finest collection of talents. This will be our greatest year yet. Where is my massive cheque?'