The discarded bones from beachside KFCs are being used to cull seagulls it has been announced.
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic said 'When someone discards a used KFC bucket on the beach, as seems compulsory these days, there is always a seagull contemplating its nutritional value.'
'If you have never seen a Seagull attempting to swallow an entire chicken leg bone, you should. It's fucking hilarious.'
'He will gag and regurgitate but keep going back for more and try to swallow it. It's like a first time porn star taking her first facial.'
He continued 'Eventually the poor bastard will choke to death and that's tragic. But until then it's like prime time Saturday night entertainment but without the annoyance of Ant or Fucking Dec.'
'It's hilarious. I laughed like a cunt.'
