A man's enormous distended stomach, named Tony, has been given the vote in the forthcoming general election.
The Election Commission said they had received an application from Tony the stomach and could not ignore his logic.
'His case was solid.' said Henry South, spokesman for the commission.
'He is able to communicate via morse code farting. He has also made many interesting points via the medium of formation shitting.'
He continued 'The noxious and poisonous excreta that Tony emits is comparable to a Conservative cabinet meeting.'
'They can form a government. So Tony can vote. The fat fuck.'
