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| 'I. Can't. Take. It. Anymore.' |
Efficiency experts have discovered how to make the workforce more productive on a Monday.
Recognised as an essentially dark and negative day, Monday is to be renamed Friday 2.
'Everyone loves Friday' said Oliver Green of efficiency consultancy Lean Machines.
'So we thought renaming Monday gives everyone that weekend feeling at the start of the week.'
'We really think productivity will increase by up to 12%'
But Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic disagrees.
'They are missing the essential elements as to why the workforce is inefficient on a Monday and it's not the time until the next weekend, though that does have a small influence.
'No, it's that 82% of them are still wankered from an all weekend bender.'
'And coming back to work to be told an efficiency consultant is renaming a day, is it any wonder people want to get cunted to forget their shitty lives?'
Recognised as an essentially dark and negative day, Monday is to be renamed Friday 2.
'Everyone loves Friday' said Oliver Green of efficiency consultancy Lean Machines.
'So we thought renaming Monday gives everyone that weekend feeling at the start of the week.'
'We really think productivity will increase by up to 12%'
But Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic disagrees.
'They are missing the essential elements as to why the workforce is inefficient on a Monday and it's not the time until the next weekend, though that does have a small influence.
'No, it's that 82% of them are still wankered from an all weekend bender.'
'And coming back to work to be told an efficiency consultant is renaming a day, is it any wonder people want to get cunted to forget their shitty lives?'