After extensive research it has been discovered that anything will smash into a million little pieces if you chuck it hard enough.
Incredulous that the new Apple iWatch smashed after dropping it face down onto the glass, consumers are not satisfied.
'I want my stuff to be invincible' said Tom Miles.
'I took my iPhone and twatted it repeatedly with a sledge hammer and the screen shattered and then it just exploded.'
He continued 'And I took my new memory foam Sketchers and set fire to them and they burnt to a sloppy plastic puddle.'
'It's the Ray-Bans I'm most disappointed in though. I fed them to a massive pig and they came out the other end with the arms snapped off.'
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic explains 'People seem to want increasingly delicate and pretty gadgets yet with more strength and durability.'
'But there's this thing called 'Physics' where universal laws dictate these people are colossal twats and should piss off before the universe smashes their smug little faces in.'
Incredulous that the new Apple iWatch smashed after dropping it face down onto the glass, consumers are not satisfied.
'I want my stuff to be invincible' said Tom Miles.
'I took my iPhone and twatted it repeatedly with a sledge hammer and the screen shattered and then it just exploded.'
He continued 'And I took my new memory foam Sketchers and set fire to them and they burnt to a sloppy plastic puddle.'
'It's the Ray-Bans I'm most disappointed in though. I fed them to a massive pig and they came out the other end with the arms snapped off.'
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic explains 'People seem to want increasingly delicate and pretty gadgets yet with more strength and durability.'
'But there's this thing called 'Physics' where universal laws dictate these people are colossal twats and should piss off before the universe smashes their smug little faces in.'