Nokia have acknowledged that in the past 7 years they have lost their way, going from the worlds largest mobile phone manufacturer to an also ran.
'We have made mistakes' admitted Johann Schmidt, CEO.
'Everyone made clamshells. We refused. Everyone made smartphones, we stuck with our own OS. Everyone went with Android. We went with Windows Phone.'
He continued 'We have a new strategy based on innovative touchscreens and a major new battery technology.'
'No, fuck it, let's just sell the 3310 again.'
'Everyone loved our unbreakable brick. You could chuck it at a teenager and after it had brained them you just snapped the case back on.'
'I used to beat my kids with mine. This was when it was socially acceptable to twat your kids round a bit.'
'Apparently that's 'neglect' these days.'