Oasis are re-releasing their seminal single 'Cigarettes & Alcohol' for it's 21st anniversary it was announced.
Renamed 'Inhalers & Viagra' Noel Gallagher said 'These are my drugs of choice now.'
'I used to love the fags and lager but I can barely get it up these days.'
'Three ladyboys daisy chaining creates a bit of a stir but everything else? Fuck all.'
'My arteries are narrower than a UKIP supporter's belief system.'
'And a 90 a day fag habit has caught up with me. It's 90 puffs of Ventolin these days.'
'Still, Rock and Roll hey!?