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| Wetco |
Tesco have released plans for their recovery after posting their worst ever profit figures yesterday.
Chief Executice Paul Simon said 'We realised that the people coming through our doors might have thoughts on what they actually wanted rather than us dictating what they wanted and them damn well liking it.'
He continued 'We are using our motto as the basis for our recovery campaign.'
'So we will be selling a lot of cut price seaweed. Every Little Kelps.'
'We will be using famous Olympians to promote it, especially American Swimmers. Every Little Phelps.'
'And we will use tiny little cute puppies to attract people. Every Little Whelps.'
Chief Executice Paul Simon said 'We realised that the people coming through our doors might have thoughts on what they actually wanted rather than us dictating what they wanted and them damn well liking it.'
He continued 'We are using our motto as the basis for our recovery campaign.'
'So we will be selling a lot of cut price seaweed. Every Little Kelps.'
'We will be using famous Olympians to promote it, especially American Swimmers. Every Little Phelps.'
'And we will use tiny little cute puppies to attract people. Every Little Whelps.'