President Barack Obama hailed a new US/Iranian deal yesterday that will bring more peace and stability to the Middle East.
In exchange for a reduction in the rate of uranium enrichment, America will open a McDonald's and Burger King in every town.
'Thank Allah for that' said Mohammed al Fumeri, a small business man.
'Our food is rubbish. It's all falafel and vegetables. I want a massive Big Mac. I'm not sure the McRib will go down too well, but bring on the beef!'
Iran has agreed to send America Persian rugs and carpets.
Barack Obama said 'Our carpets are, frankly, shit!'
'There is a bloody stupid circular one in my office with an eagle on it and something about a seal of the President or something. I'm going to replace it with a nice Persian rug.'
'Don't tell the Republicans though. They go batshit crazy over pointless symbols whilst glady fucking over the poor. Lovely people.'