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| 'I resign!' |
The entire nation of the UK has handed in its notice saying that they feel they have failed themselves, their family and their country.
Ash Kennedy, an office worker from Slough said 'Resigning is so cool these days.'
'It's even trending on twitter. All the cool people are doing it.'
He continued 'I saw 3 really important people doing it today already, Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg and Nigel Färâgé.'
'What you do is stand at the front of your office, apologise for failing, throw in one or two bitter jibes at people you don't like then wander off with a tear in your eye for a bit of a mope.'
'It was great fun, apart from people muttering things under their breath like 'I told you thay twat couldn't do it' and 'What a fucking loser.'
'But they're just bitter I resigned before they did. I'm one of the cool kids.'