People took to the streets across Britain today to hang bunting and set up impromptu street parties to celebrate the return of Michael Gove to government.
Julie Bowen, 42 of Pontypridd said 'I am so glad he is back. I loved his work as education secretary.'
She continued 'Not only was he able to spend huge amounts of money on idealisically motivated free schools but he also radically changed the history syllabus based on what he could remember of British mediaeval history at the time.'
'I can't wait to see what he does as justice secretary. I know he will scrap that pesky human rights act as, honestly, we don't really need rights.'
'And hopefully he can remove legal aid altogether so only people with the surname Abramovich can afford a solicitor.'
'So I am really excited he's back. We have got the buffet ready to celebrate this wonderful man who is in no way a malingering cunt with a perpetually punchable face you just want to smash in with a 30lb sledge hammer.'