Nick Clegg has said his jet set lifestyle will be aeriously curtailed by his ban on travelling to Russia.

'Where will I buy suits made of potato skins now?' he said.

He continued 'Only next month we were blowing off a dinner with European diplomats in Strasbourg to visit Moscow to get beaten up by semi-literate closetted Putin fan boys.'

'That's really put a dampener on what was going to be a fun trip of laughing at Ladas and watching 600 people throw turnips at each other for the right to a house with a roof.'

'Putin ruins all my fun. And I was going to grease him up with Olive Oil. Well he can forget that now.'

 
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