News that the Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a daughter has altered the line of succession in two ways it was revealed.
Emerging from secret leaked documents, a new competency test must be taken by all royals in order to remain in the line of succession.
Prince Charles has been exempted for time already served. Both Prince William and Prince George have passed age appropriate tests.
It is expected that the new Princess will also pass. After this lies problems.
'We have nobody else left' said an anonymous member of the Queen's household.
'Prince's Andrew and Edward failed due to lack of personality, charm, intelligence and anything approaching humanity.'
'Princess Anne just ripped up the test in a fit of ballistic anger.'
'So all we have left is the Royal Placenta.'
'Though admittedly, a pulsating gelatinous mass of blood, tissue and nutrients has marginally more wit, self awareness and ability than Andrew or Edward.'
'They really are a pair of useless cunts.'
