Vladimir Putin has announced that he never makes mistakes because God wants him to have a perfect life.
In a statement of supreme arrogance and lunacy, Putin is succeeding in building an unassailable personality cult.
'There's no doubt he's gone absolutely mental now' said Boris Kalkov, opposition MP.
'Not only does he have his personal TV stations and his personal chest waxer but now he has his personal deity.'
'My worry is he thinks this is his personal planet.'
'Will one of you lot from MI6 or the CIA do your job and, if not assassinate him, give him a swift kick in the bollocks on live TV? He's freaking me the fuck out man.'
We asked God for his opinion but he was unavailable for comment on account of not existing.