In order to ensure children realise that the word minions means underling or sycophant and not just a yellow creature from Despicable Me, parents are to be slapped until they teach them.
'It's a real problem when a word gets this popular' said Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic.
'It's happened before. There is a generation of slightly thick late 20 and 30 somethings that think a 'widget' is a device for making cans of bitter frothy as opposed to a gadget or mechanism.'
'Had we slapped parents in the 90s, we wouldn't be suffering this John Smiths Bitter Jack Dee advert horror we are now.'
'We are not sufferimg from this shite again.'