A survey of the British people has concluded that the BBC should just release the winning lottery numbers instead of forcing them to endure looking at Nick Knowles.
Knowles, 52, with his full head of jet black hair and face like a leathery scrotum, is said to be in denial at the point of the National Lottrey results.
'People don't want to know if they're rich.' he said.
'I'm a popular entertainer, particularly amongst a certain type of deranged lower middle class women who see me as an acceptable bit of rough.'
'They want to see my perpetually sagging scrote face read monosyllabically off an autocue, not find out if they are rich enough to have a filter invented to remove my face permanently from their screens.'
'By the way, do you need any decking done? Tiling? New boiler? Best rates and camera crew thrown in free.'