The Queen has set fire to all copies of the Magna Carta in an astonishing power grab it emerged today.
Attending a celebration of the 800th anniversary of the signing by King John of the historic document, the Queen noticed all remaining copies were gathered in one place for a unique display.
In a moment of megalomania, the Queen hurled a Molotov cocktail, that she keeps in her handbag for emergencies, at the collection, burning them to a cinder.
'That's it!' she bellowed.
'I've been made to pay tax, to tolerate ritual humiliation by watching tedious native dancing, have that jug-eared cretin wish I was dead and you took my yacht off me.'
'Well no more! Lizzy's in charge now! You're all mine bitches!'
'Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war motherfuckers!'