Tour de France hero and winner Chris Froome is to be stripped of his title after it emerged he had used a car for the mountain stages.
With the intense scrutiny on doping suspicions and elements of the French populace treating his team disrespectfully, nobody noticed he used powered vehicles on multiple occasions.
'How I got away with it this long is nothing short of a miracle' said Froome yesterday.
'On the Utrecht to Zeeland section I just drove in a Jaguar XF. I acknowledge that with the stickers I put on the side I may have looked like a support car which may have helped.'
'But on the Rodez to Mende stage I used a Challenger 2 Tank. Remember that fucking great big tank? That was me. The driver had a yellow jersey.'
'Did you not figure it out?!?'