The Liberal Democrats have electes Tim Farron aka 'The Angler' as the leader of their party it was revealed yesterday.
Usually seen sitting beside a pond motionless and equiped with the latest in carbon fibre fishing gear, Tim said 'This is going to make a refreshing change to being shit on by seagulls'
'I can usually tolerate that because I habe a lovely big red hat. But I can't cope with the cat trying to hump my head at every opportunity.'
'That's why I have this permanent slight grimace. This is the look of someone who has been subjected to repeated feline face fucking.'
'Anyway, on with the program of work. Basically, if you have any sense of logic and social democracy, vote us. If you are a tribal bell end, vote for the other two wankers.'
'And seeing as most of you seem determined to vote against your and your nations best interests, just give up and repeatedly punch yourself in the bollocks. It's what you do every election day.'