Today being National Lipstick Day has left the nations dogs in a state of confusion it has emerged.
Taking it as an excuse to hump everything and anything they can get any purchase on, male canines have been informed this is a celebration of human grooming, not a time to get your dog rocks off.
'It's utterly unfair' said a spokesman for dogs, Rex the Golden Retriever.
'I have been wandering around all day with my cock out trying to get laid and fucking anything and everything I lay my eyes on.'
'My lipstick is very much out in honour of the day.'
'But then you discover it's all about makeup and the snail trail of jizz you have been leaving everywhere isn't as appreciated as you thought it might be.'
'In fact, it's downright comdemned. It's almost as if people don't want to see three inches of bright red Pepperami bobbing round in their field of vision.'