Governor of the Odessa oblast in Ukraine, Mikheil Saakashvili has said Vladimir Putin is obsessed with testing NATO and will test the defences of the Baltic states next.
Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia will be tested with a new cheese weapon that a man was trying to smuggle in to the Kaliningrad area of Russia, which neighbours these countries.
'I have no doubt the Russians are developing a Buffalo Mozzarella Bomb, a Maasdam Missile, a Stilton Shell' said Mr.Saakashvili.
'Why else would they be smuggling so much in the boot of a car? It can't be to eat.'
'Who wants to eat sweaty car boot cheese? No, the Russians are using their latest technology, that is the farming of cows to gather their milk rather than forcibly milking their women, to create a bioweapon.'
'Putin really is a stale smear of Philadelphia.'