The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Balls has praised Wimbledon for finishing on time and asked for a delay in the start of the Davis Cup.
In a statement released today, the RSPCB said 'We are glad this long 2 weeks of punishment and abuse towards spheres of yellow has stopped'
'It is our heartfelt belief that the connection all balls share with the shape of our planet means abuse of balls is abuse of the Earth.'
'We call on all sports to instead use our advice and take up the cube.'
'This shape does not appear in nature and as such is open to mistreatment. We feel that all angular shapes can be used as a substitute.'
'Finally, we would like to congratulate our intern on his development of a new strain of super strong skunk and his continued restraint from putting it in our foodstuffs.'