Unison confirmed their feminist credentials yesterday by endorsing Jeremy Corbyn at the expense of Yvette Cooper because 'she's married to Ed Balls.'
Union spokesman Ash Kennedy said 'Never let it be said we aren't a forward thinking and equality striving union.'
'Unlike other unions that would have dismissed Ms. Cooper out of hand, we helped nominate her and then gave up on her when we realised everyone hates her husband.'
'Everyone knows that a strong woman politician has a man at the controls and that her thoughts aren't independent. Just look at how women are shorter and smaller than men. It's proof positive that they are inferior.'
'But we did our duty and got her on the ballot paper'
'Now, sweetheart, if you and Liz would be good girls and step aside and let the real candidates get on with it, we would really appreciate it.'
'Look, there's a big pile of dishes over there. Why don't you crack on with them, there's a good girl.'
