After settling a 12 year long dispute over the development of nuclear power and weapons with Iran, President Barack Obama is to spend the remaining 18 months of his Presidency failing to persuade his 'fellow' Americans to sign an obviously advantageous deal.
Speaking from his office on Capitol Hill, Speaker John Boehner said 'This deal is not a good deal for the American people.'
'It is a particularly bad deal for the pro-Israel lobby that funds all of our election campaigns and informs us we are to scrunch up our faces and spit in disgust every time we hear the words 'Arab', 'Muslim','Palestinian' and 'proportional response'.
But what of the historic chance for peace that every one of America's closest allies believe will be a defining moment of this century?
'I hear what you are saying' said Speaker Boehner. 'But it's Obama's deal. He could demand guns for the under fives, a minimum wage of a dollar and 0% tax for every inbred, confederate flag loving, inbred hillbilly and I'd still vote against it.'