We've Done It! 2000 Migrants Help Us Beat Lorry Queue World Record

The World record for longest queue of lorries was achieved yesterday with the help of 2000 migrants it was announced today.

Member of the record breaking organisation committee, Josh Henry, said 'The plan worked'

'In consultation with over 2000 individual mirgants in Calais we were able to organise a blockage in the Channel Tunnel.'

'This is a drain, an exit for the lorries. By blocking the plug hole as it were we were able to achieve a 22 mile queue of lorries.'

'I'd like to thank the migrants for their invaluable contribution. Passports are on their way guys.'

'And I'd like to thank my mum who inspired me with her casual racism to block up the channel tunnel. Though I haven't told her about the whole passport element to the plan!'

'And finally, the baby Jesus, for being ickle and cute and fictional.'