A tax is to be placed on baguettes in Britain to pay for the policing of Calais it has been revealed.
Speaking from Calais, head of the Joint Calais Task Force, Barry Allen, said 'This is a necessary measure'
'We have negotiated with the French government and agreed they can continue to be an intractable acre of uncooperative fuck nuggets.'
'We support their official position of a gallic shrug and will be policing Calais ourselves, paid for by a tax on baguettes and other shit french breads.'
'This human rights crisis needs addressing fast and sitting with your feet up outside a Parisian cafe sipping Burgundy and touching up waitresses when you should be running a country just won't do it.'
'We may well just take over the French parliament whilst they fuck their secretaries. It will make life simpler.'