In Tony Blair's latest attack on Jeremy Corbyn, the content of his message has been lost as everyone stares at his face is has been revealed.
As the fake bake mixes with Mr. Blair's aging skin, he has come to resemble a tangerine crossed with a scrotum.
'I honestly have nothing for my column today' said journalist Mike Tyrell.
'I was going to write an anti-Blair hatchet job. Really put the boot in. But I didn't listen to a word he said. His leathery orange skin which seemed to move independently of his mouth may be a new wonder of the world.'
'It's like watching your ball sack shrink back when it's cold, but constantly change its mind and go back to slack. Tight and slack. Slack and tight. But orange. And full of shit, not jizz.'