After admitting to her twitter followers she was covered in burns after falling off a tread mill naked, Carol Vorderman has gone on to confess how she came to be in that predicament.
'Well, those dodgy loan adverts have dried up and all of this' indicating her face, body and hair 'takes a lot of up keep.'
"This new lot on Loose Women aren't like they were in the old days. Back then, you only had to give Denise Welch a litre of vodka and you were guaranteed a days work.'
'But these days, well, Jamilia wanted me to prove I have what it takes. What was I to do? Jamilia put the tread mill up to 20mph and kept cackling.
Menopausal, outspoken and full of botox and filler, all the Loose Women return to ITV this autumn.