With antibiotic resistance increasing and drug companies refusing to make new types of antibiotic instead of new versions of viagra, doctors are being placed under increased scrutiny over their prescription practices.
Dr. Ash Kennedy, GP from Ross-shire, said 'I am now waiting until someone is crawling on their belly with puss erupting forth from every orifice before I prescribe any antibiotics.'
'And even then, I give them the piss weak banana flavoured liquid penicillin.'
'You may think this is harsh treatment. But I was punished and given Leprosy and my cock fell off.'
'I treasure my bollocks too much to risk it. Nobody is going to threaten bacterial infection of 'Richard' and 'Judy'.