In the wake of the Emile Hirsch conviction, woman torturer Sean Penn is to open a refuge for cowardly men who attack women it has emerged.
Hirsch, a frequent Penn collaborator, was convicted of choking a female producer and dragging her by the throat over a table before getting atop her and continuing to choke her.
'I feel Emile's pain' said Penn.
'Women can sometimes be infuriating and force you to beat, restrain and torture them until they stop being annoying.'
'Men who have fallen because of their provocation at the hand of women need protection. So I opened this refuge where Emile, myself, Sean Connery and others who have had their patience tried and snapped can feel safe.'
'We have latex lifelike dolls here that you can beat, pummel and rape to your hearts content. This is a safe place. For men like us.'