France and Britain are to sign a new agreement regarding the Calais migrant crisis that France will immediately ignore it has been announced today.
Foreign Secretary Theresa May and French Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve will travel to Calais and sign a comprehensive joint security and financing agreement to aid migrants and increase security at the site.
'This agreement could be a game changer' said a Home Office source.
'We have agreed to pour in a further £10 million into the Calais camp and the French have agreed to match that. After our funds have been transferred to the French bank accounts we fully expect them to do fuck all.'
'It is our expectation that the piece of paper with our joint signatures will be used as toilet paper and the funds will be channeled to a pet project or folly of the French Interior department.'
'This is true Detente. We do all the work whilst the French are painfully, agonisingly and crushingly French.'
'We should have extended the Channel Tunnel straight through to Germany. It would have bankrupted Britain but it would have been worth it.'