The location of Shale Gas, the extraction of which is known as fracking, is located solely in the North of England it was revealed today.
A government spokesman said 'It's amazing how all the shale gas is located where people vote Labour.'
'This is one of those curious scientific anomalies that seems nefarious but is entirely coincidental.'
But have areas in the south of England where people vote Tory been actually surveyed to see if they contain shale gas?
'No. Don't be ridiculous.'