Milk farmers who have bought thousands of pounds wirth of supermarket milk and are giving it away appear to have cracked the secrets of alchemy it has been announced.
Observing the mass milk purchase, supermarket shopper Ash Kennedy said 'I was amazed they could afford the milk in the first place.'
'Dairy farmers often say they actually produce milk at a loss. So surely that means they must have negative money?'
'I can only assume that they have been able to change basic objects into gold to be able to afford it and give away all that milk.'
'That, or some sort of secondary incomes such as huge european subsidies and income from alternative uses for the land they paid nothing for but inherited from their parents.'
'That must be it!'