A rupture that will kill us all has occured in the spacetime continuum as Ed Miliband has become sexy and rugged with his stubbly beard it has been announced.
The schism has ripped open reality and will consume us all within hours because 'its against the laws of physics for Ed Miliband to be attractive.' said Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute'
'This is the end times, as foretold in various bullshit religious texts' said the Professor.
'Ed Miliband is a socially awkward nerd. Everyone knows this. It is a universal constant like the speed of light.'
'But then he has to grow a beard and become all sultry and rugged. He's really fucked us all over you know.'
'The Milibeard will kill us all.'