A city trader has spoken of a new experience he has had that gave him a strange warmth inside it has been revealed.
Ash Kennedy, a short seller for brokers DeLoitte, Lloyds & Cloot, received a self assessment form in the post and filled it in.
'I was bored' he said.
'I had just finished snorting a three foot long line of coke off the arses of my best friend's girlfriend and mother when I saw it sitting on the table.'
'I had a flick through and thought 'This is a new experience for me and I'm always looking for them.'
'So I filled it in, missed out a few earnings obviously, bumped up the business expenses and sent it off. Six months later a bill arrived asking me to write a cheque which I duly did and posted.'
'It felt weird. There was a sort of warmth inside and a slightly pleasant feeling in my head. I think it may be what some describe as pride or maybe contentment.'
'Anyway, I didn't like it, so I fucked my wife's 16 year old sister which left me feeling cold and empty. That was much better.'
