The existence of Jeremy Clarkson is reason to cry and weep for all humanity the media as a whole has revealed.
The sheer mention of his name must be followed by sniggering, a sense of superiority and blanket condemnation.
'The name of his latest venture on Amazon Prime, 'Gear Knobs' is ridiculous and an utterly stupid name for a car show' said Ash Kennedy, freelance journalist.
Despite the name succinctly summing up exactly what Top Gear has been for the past 10 years and is even self-deprecating, the smug arrogance of the press shows no sign of letting up.
'Clarkson isn't permitted to ever do anything humble. Despite this name seemingly showing humility, it doesn't because, erm, he's a bastard and I hate him and so should you!' said Kennedy.
'He eats the faces off children, uses dogs as dish cloths and eats his own bogeys. Hateful, hateful man!'