After securing a lead of over 50 points, Lewis Hamilton will jog the next Grand Prix it has been announced.
Speaking from a gun range in California where he is perfecting his gangsta poses, Hamilton said 'It's getting too easy to be honest.'
'This weekend at Monza I was able to drive the whole Grand Prix with just one hand while I cupped my bollocks with the other.'
'If you think that is bad, having enough time to get a drive through Maccies and go back because the double cheeseburgers weren't plain like I asked, and still win, just shows that everybody else is crap.'
'I heard Fernando Alonso's race engineers telling him how turning the steering wheel turns the front wheels. What a cock!'
'So I think I will jog the next one. Maybe do a bit on a Segway. Then steal Murray Walker's golf buggy and chase him round the circuit whipping his arse with a baguette. Because I can.'
